You've Reached Arawn, DeathLord of Annuvin!
by TaintedAngel26
Summary: Obsessed with Prydain...so here is my humour contribution. These are the greeting messages from the main characters' voice mail inboxes. Enjoy!


DISCLAIMER: I (sniff-sniff) don't own Prydain...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I was up 'til 2am finishing TBC yesterday. After recovering from the shock of Adaon's death once and for all, I finally got an idea for a Prydain fanfic. These are the inbox greetings for the main characters in Prydain. I guess because of my Star Wars Inbox thingie...a note on that: I will be adding Chapter 6 to The Inbox Strikes Back as soon as possible—Yoda's inbox!

Obviously, I couldn't get all the characters on here, but I tried to get all the recurring ones (with the exception of Adaon—so cool he just has to be on here! And Coll...couldn't get any ideas...sorry!)

You've Reached Arawn, Death-Lord of Annuvin

BEEP! Hello, this is Taran of Cair Dallben, Assistant Pig-Keeper.I'm probably out on some perilous and seemingly pointless quest for my identity now, but please leave your name and number after the horse's whinny and I will return your call as soon as I have located myself. HORSE WHINNY!

BEEP! Hello, this is Eilonwy—Princess Eilonwy Daughter of Angharad, and don't you forget it. I'm not here right now—probably chasing after that Pig-Keeper on another of his "missions," so please leave a message. A few points: one—I am not parting with my bauble for anything, but I would be willing to bargain with that blasted ring Gwydion gave me—it's pretty but the stone is FAKE!!! Two—the next person who compares me to Eowyn is going to wish they had stayed at home. It's worse than telling someone...oh, never mind. Three: If this is Gwydion...maybe I should erase this...BEEP!

BEEP! Salutations, this is Fflewddur Fflam the bard. Unfortunately, I am currently on a noble trek in which I shall, no doubt, single-handedly bring everyone to safety (_harp string twangs)_, er, with the help of my loyal comrades, of course. If you are anyone from my old kingdom, I do not wish to speak with you. However, if you requiremy assistance, please do not hesitate to leave a message, for a Fflam is always valiant and fearless! (_harp string twangs_) BEEP!

BEEP! Greetings, you have reached Gwydion, Prince of Don, at Cair Dathyl. I am no doubt off riding somewhere in Prydain (does that help you to figure out my location?), possibly defeating ANOTHER evil war lord (you would think they could do it themselves for once), and consequently, to use the modern expression, "saving the day." Please leave a message and I will return your call, most probably at the end of whatever book we are working on now—I've lost count. Warning: I do not return calls from solicitors, telemarketers, my credit card company, Cauldron-Born, _Prydain Hotties_ (*cough cough*) magazine, Wal-Mart representatives, Sith Lords or fangirls. Thank you. BEEP!

BEEP! Hello, kind master, this is brave and loyal Gurgi! I not here now. Gurgi is giving the enemy great smackings and whackings at the side of his brave master, or Gurgi is enjoying his crunchings and munchings under a big tree. Leave Gurgi a message and he will call you back! BEEP!

BEEP! Hello, you've reached Arawn, Death Lord of Annuvin. I'm probably somewhere in the area—observing the training of the Cauldron-Born or having a poker night with my generals. If you have any idea where my darling cauldron has got to, let me know immediately (that is not a request). I have sent my gwythaints and Cauldron-Born to search for it, but....oh, what I wouldn't give for a few NAZGUL!!! (_bursts into tears loudly_) BEEP!

BEEP! This is Achren of Everything Enchantress Ltd. at...what used to be Spiral Castle. We have now relocated to the Castle of Llyr! Sibling on your nerves? Tired of dull winters? Want a little excitement in your life? Then come to Everything Enchantress, where we'll (*cough cough*) _take care_ of you, as soon as we have finished our latest experiment: Second generation nazgul! Mwahahahahaha...BEEP!

BEEP! Hello, you've reached Adaon at Dreams Explained Inc. I have just received front row tickets for _Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat_—highly relatable subject matter—so if you'd like to come along and you're not in league with Morgant, Arawn, Achren, etc., please feel free to give me a call (all Cair Dallben-ers and Cair Dathyl-ers welcome!). If you would like your dream explained, or would like to know when you're going to die, let me know and I'll book you an appointment. Oh, and the brooch? Don't even think about it. My darling, beautiful Arianlynn, on that blessed day of our engagement, entrusted it to me. As it slipped from her fair hands into mine, I was overcome by a wave of love...BEEP!

BEEP! This is Doli. Why are you calling me? Don't you have anything better to do? And if you really MUST call me, DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE! It makes my ears ring...BEEP!

BEEP! Good day, you've reached Dallben at Cair Dallben...yes. No doubt I am in my study, reading _The Book of Three_—such an interesting read, reallly—or musing on that pig-b—er, _Assistant Pig-Keeper_, and what he could possibly be up to now. If this is Hen-Wen...RETURN TO THE PIG-PEN IMMEDIATELY!!! BEEP!

*There you have it! Tune in next time to here Gwydion say...

"These forests are so thick. How am I supposed to find a CAULDRON??? Why oh why didn't I ask Santa for a GPS?!"


End file.
